My Experience in English

My name is Tatiana and in December I will have been practicing Nicherin Daishonin Buddhism for 31 years.

I have had many benefits from this practice but today I am going to tell you about my most recent benefit.

In July last year my period was late and it had not happened before. At first, I thought I could be pregnant and bought a pregnancy test. But it was negative.

I decided to wait for next month to see if my period would come. However, it did not.

It was in September when, my period had still not come, I began to feel strange symptoms as hot flushes and night sweats, palpitations (changes in heart rate), headaches, anxiety, tiredness and insomnia.  

Although I knew I must see a doctor, I waited a few months in the hope my period came.

But nothing happened again and then, I went to see the doctor at the end of November.

The doctor asked for blood test and I came back to see her after a few days.  

She asked me if I had any idea what was happening to me.

 I had three things in my mind and I said:

-          I could be pregnant, although the pregnancy test I had done was negative.  

-          I could be in menopause, but I really thought I was still too young for that

-          Or I had a very serious illness.

Then, she told me that my problem was the second of my list. I had started early menopause. I was 38.   

For those who do not know, Menopause is the permanent cessation of the primary functions of the human ovaries. Menopause typically (but not always) occurs in women in midlife, during their late 40s or early 50s, and signals the end of the fertile phase of a woman’s life.

So, the doctor gave me the worst news I could receive. I COULD NOT HAVE A BABY.  

For as long as I can remember I have always wanted children of my own.

She was lovely and friendly trying to encourage me to think about adoption or others fertility treatment.

Then, she looked at me and asked what I was feeling and thinking about that situation. 

The first thing I said to her was that I was Buddhist and that I would chant to transform that situation that the medicine could not help me.

She was surprised with my answer and said she was happy with my positive attitude. 

I left the GP in shock and called my partner Giose.

When I got home I chanted and cried and poured my heart out the Gohonzon.

I knew some people had decided not to have children but that was not my decision. I wished to have a baby.  

The following days were so painful and I struggled to understand why this was happening to me.

Many Sensei’s guidance came to my mind and I knew I could not be defeated.

Through chanting, I had an idea to send my blood test result to a doctor who was a SGI member in Brazil. She had taken care of Mr Kaneko when she was with Sensei in Rio de Janeiro in 1993.

She then sent my test to a friend of her, who was an expert in these cases.

Her friend gave me total attention and she confirmed as a doctor, that the test was right. However, she said: Now as a SGI member, I know and believe you can change any negative situation in your life chanting nam-myoho-rengue-kyo even in this situation.”

I took her words into my heart.

Every end of year I write my determinations to the New Year. Then, I always determine one million daimoku (about 270 hours) to achieve them.

As I had to start work very early and after work I had English school for three days in the evening, I decided to chant 5 hours every Sunday to achieve my goals for that year and have a baby.

I invited many people to chant especially members from my district Maida Vale. 

I have been practicing in Maida Vale district since I came to live in London in 2008.

At that time, the district had only two young women. As I could not speak English to participate in the dialogue in the discussion meeting, I made gifts and invitations for members to encourage them and I chanted for the happiness of the members and the growth of the district.

 A few months later, Silmara and Paula came to live in London and near of me and they started to practice in Maida Vale as well. 

We also welcomed a future student division from America. To involve her in the SGI activities, we bought some instruments to play together in the meetings. She loved doing that and her mother told us that her daughter asked her many times when will be the next meeting.   

The result of this, Maida Vale District has grown and now we have Silmara as a young women District leader and Paula as a vice. They have done amazing work supporting young women and me and we have about 10 young women and two of them have decided to receive Gohonzon this year.

I am so fortunate to have all of the Maida Vale’s members in my life! We are like a big family and we support each other!

On March after three months chanting, I went to see the doctor again and asked for new blood test.

Although there were a few positive alterations in my blood, she said the result was the same and I could not still have a baby.

I continued to chant with the determination that my partner and I would win definitely and have a baby at the right time for us and the baby. Giose, during this time, was an amazing support.

I always thought about Nichiren’s words: “Believe in this mandala with all your heart. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo is like the roar of a lion. What sickness can therefore be an obstacle?”

This gosho helped me to win over death in 1988 when I had tuberculoses and I must believe that I could transform the poison into medicine again.

In May, my period came for two days. But it was very strange. I told the doctor and she said it was normal because my body was being cleaned. She also said that although I had a period for one or two months the probability of pregnancy was very low, almost impossible.

In June I started to feel bad again with many symptoms that I had not felt before, however I thought those could be because of the menopause and at the same time I had got flu. I bought some medicine for the flu since I did not want to take any medicine for menopause.

One of the medicines was saying that pregnant women must not take it. I thought: “I can take it. I am not pregnant yet”

However, although I do not know why, I wished to confirm first and I called Giose asking him to buy a pregnancy test. I did the test four times in different hours and in all of them there were two lines indicating I was pregnant

I took all of them and went to see the doctor. She looked at me in shock and said that if I was pregnant it would be a miracle baby. Then, she asked me to wait for the blood text result in three days to celebrate because she was not sure I could be pregnant, although the pharmacy test was effective.  

That was the longest three days in my life!

When I went to see the doctor, she looked at me and said: WE HAVE HERE A MIRACLE BABY.” “YOU ARE PREGNANT! CONGRATULATIONS TATIANA.

She asked for a scan, even before the right time to ask for one, because she wanted to confirm once more. She was still not believed in that!

If I was really pregnant it had happened in May when my period came for two days. Just one month!

I went to do a scan and the nurse said: “look on the screen.”

When I looked on the screen, I saw the baby there.

I can not explain what I felt. It was not only about the baby I had in my belly. It was about the power of mystic law I had proved once more in my life.

I already had a second scan and Giose and I saw the baby formed. We also heard his or her heart and it seemed like a samba!!!

Now, we are going to have a baby!!!!

Giose and I got married and we have chanted for the baby’s mission and for his or her happiness.

More than ever, I believe in transforming impossible into possible chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo and participating in SGI activities as Sensei always says.

Now in Maida Vale District, I am supporting my leaders Silmara and Paula in their determination in visiting all young women regularly to chant and support them to strengthen their faith and win over any obstacle and also have a strong connection with Sensei’s heart. This has been a great opportunity for me since I am going to change division soon.

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I have so much gratitude to my husband, to the members from Maida Vale District, to people who came to chant with me on Sundays.

And most of all to Daisaku Ikeda, my mentor, who always encourage me during these 31 years I have been practising through his guidance, poems, books and speeches. And also he   made it possible for me to meet this Buddhism.

I’d like to finish with a quotation from Sensei that has helps me everyday:

“I am fervently praying and calling out to each of you: Never be defeated! Have courage! Have hope!”

THANK YOU SENSEI!!!

Thank you everyone!!!!